Irresistable B****, Let's Go. Where We Goin'?

20,000 points to anyone who knows where that line is from!

I went to Marlin, TX last weekend for a family reunion on my husband's mother's side of the family. This quote about Marlin from Wikipedia did me in: "At the census in 2000, Marlin had a population of 6,628, a increase of 242 more people from 1990, when the census said Marlin had a population of 6,386. Things went downhill from there." It was relaxing and country. Got crunk in several games of Spade. Ate some fries. Drank a Pibb. Watched people of all ages sing hymnals and later do the Stanky Leg.

At a gas station on the way...what in the Soylent Green hell is "Potted Meat Food Product"? Reason #4869 I do not eat meat, right here.

Monday I started my workout plan, it was a pretty good beginner work-out, but I've had a cold or cold-like symptoms all week so I haven't been back yet. It's on next week though! I have stuck to my no soda during the week rule though, so big ups to me. I've been cooking. Last night I cooked this tasty morsel (I hate you, QQ) for your delight:

Linguine with broccoli, diced tomatoes, diced red and green bell peppers; lemon-herb tofu pan-fried (got the recipe from here) and some bread for nomming purposes. The bread was mid-nom when this picture was taken, my bad.

Fast Food Nation*

*You should totally read the book, Fast Food Nation.

Anyhoo, please watch this. With your speakers on when you can. Give up fast food (or try to phase it out if you are not in a position to cook all the time). There are cheap, healthy, easy recipes out there. Try them. If you need help, ask me. This is amazing. What the hell are we putting in our bodies, in our children's bodies? Happy Meals my ass.

Thanksgiving, Palin Style

As an aside, I am not really a preachy vegan unless I see something horrible like the above video, or someone asks. This (watching a creature get slaughtered) is one of the reasons I eat a vegan diet. I cannot stomach watching that poor bird get butchered and the blood everywhere and then in good conscious eat another one. Many people do not see animals as living, feeling creatures (many who are very intelligent) and so see no problem with killing and eating animals. I have always been an animal lover (except mosquitos...die, die, die). I never ate that much meat growing up (side-dishes, represent!) anyway, so it wasn't too hard to make the meatless transition. I personally cannot watch videos like this (just go to peta.org for more!) and continue to eat meat so that is one of the reasons I stopped (once I had some workable vegan recipes in hand). I can't even watch Animal Cops anymore or hear about an animal death in the news, or look at roadkill without feeling sad. I saw a squirrel try to dash across the street and get run over months ago and I actually started crying. It was just twitching on the ground as its' blood poured out and it's intestines were exposed (so, who's hungry?). I am a sap. I just can't handle it!

Anyhoo, how much of a 'tard do you have to be to give a "folksy" interview about pardoning a turkey while another turkey is being SLAUGHTERED RIGHT BEHIND YOU! THE WHOLE TURKEY-KILLING DEATH TRAP MACHINE SET UP IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU! You gotta love the look on homeboy's face in the background. He's like, welp, I guess I'll wait a little bit....then he just says fuck it and kills the turkey. For those who don't know, the turkey' head is placed in the funnel so it can't move, and it's throat is cut and the blood drains away and the turkey fades to black. I'm guessing the cameraman/woman hates Sarah Palin. I hate everything.

For people who eat cows, pigs, PIG INTESTINES, birds, deer, squirrel, raccoons, gators, etc. and look down on or are grossed out by those from other cultures who eat horses, sharks, dolphins, guinea pigs, snakes, grasshoppers, roaches, spiders, dogs, cats, etc. just stop. You are hypocrites. And a little bit prejudiced (at least the people I know are). I judge you.

I Call For Self-Sterilizing Robots To Serve Fast Food

Mr. Bohemian Bookworm and I went to a Chick-Fil-A last night for fries (me) and a shake (him). There were a bunch of unprofessional young adults in the cashier area. As we were waiting at the window of the drive-thru, we observed one guy (wearing the headphone thingie) scratching his head underneath his Chick-Fil-A cap. I mean, he was scratching like there was something terribly wrong in his hair. Mind you, this is with bare hands. Another guy was drinking a milkshake. Mr. Bobo saw the hair-scratching guy dig in his ears. The girl who took our order WIPED HER FUCKING NOSE WITH HER BARE HAND AND THEN PUT OUR FRIES IN THE BAG. I, horrified, pointed this out to Mr. Bobo who then requested our money back and that we no longer wanted the food. Snot-girl asked if we were sure, and tried to give us the food and shake for free. I imagined boogers and little booglets dancing and doing a high-school musical type show on the fries. We refused. We went to Whataburger, where the cashiers are ghetto as all hell, but they respect your fuckin' food.

When I saw the one guy with the milkshake behind the counter, that made me watch them a lot more closely because if you are comfortable enough to do that (it's against the rules in many fast food restaurants and cafes) then you will probably be lax with hygeine too. This turned out to be correct. The way all of those nasty mo-fos threw hygeine out the window IN PLAIN VIEW OF HORRIFIED CUSTOMERS lets me know that they must have been doing this for a while, to be that comfortable. Mr. Bobo said he probably needed to disinfect his credit card too. I said the hair-scratching/ear-digging guy probably swiped his card betwixt his ass cheeks trying to get an itch. You best believe we will be complaining.

I hate everything.

John Edwards Is....

Disgusting. An earthworm. A coward. A failure to Democrats (could have been a much more catastrophic failure if he had actually been the nominee). During the primaries, I just plain didn't like him (this is a medical fact, ask my husband). You should always trust your judgment when your nose involuntarily scrunches into the "stank face" when you see someone.

I hope you didn't come here expecting some new, insightful, objective, or even somewhat coherent or intelligent view of him. If you did, your bad. :-)

Food Suicides-California Raisins

My friend Alex mentioned another food suicide to me: The California Raisins. This is especially twisted because the Raisins sing about how good they are. I bet it is cutthroat in the Raisin world. One Raisin messes up on a note, and game over. Eat or get ate for real.

Click here for my original Food Suicides post.

Advertising Cannibalism

This is something that has disturbed me since childhood; just ask my mother. I hate when I see advertising that has the product being promoted by the same damn product. Case in point: James Coney Island.Why is the hot dog promoting eating a hot dog?! And why is he rubbing his hot dog tummy?! Why is he even alive?! This is sick.

Another example is the Kool-Aid man.

Why is he always so crunk about giving away his life force?! I assume if all those happy-ass kids he's always partying with (by the way, where are the parents? I am not ok with my kids randomly partying with a grown-ass ALIVE pitcher who just destroyed my home by busting through the walls.....but I digress) actually drank all the Kool-Aid inside him that he would shrivel up and start to convulse and die a horrible death of dehydration. That, I imagine, would be very traumatizing for children to see.

I also hate animal shaped food. This goes for Goldfish crackers (why is the goldfish in that link wearing sunglasses? Does it think it's cool to advertise yourself to be eaten?), Animal Crackers, smiley-face sandwiches, and so on. This may explain why I always hated seafood. Oh, and Gummi Bears and Gummi Worms? That is sick. As I come across more images, I will be updating this topic. Gross.