Weekend Observations

1. On my way to meet a friend for lunch, I saw (while driving) what appeared to be a small dog on a sidewalk. Since I love dogs, I tried to catch a closer look at it while I passed by. Upon closer inspection, it was a bird. A freakin bird. Like, a bird of prey. Like, a falcon, hawk, condor, phoenix, pterodactyl type bird. It was standing on the sidewalk (I think it was trying to eat something) looking at traffic. This was on a busy street surrounded by expensive condos. Freaked me right the hell out.



2. In the checkout line at Target, the woman behind me had a giraffe tattoo on her chest. Imagine someone drawing a giraffe on a sheet of paper. Think of how long the neck is. She had on a v-neck shirt, and the giraffe's head was high on her chest, and the long neck extended down under her shirt. That thing was drawn to scale like a muhfugga. It was actually kind of awesome. Definitely the most random tattoo I have ever seen.



3. I went to see The Reader last night. My husband and I are often the token black people in the movies we go see, this movie was no exception. The Reader was in a small theater. The audience was mostly 40 years and older white people. Everyone lined up in an orderly fashion (there was no need to) and waited until the cleaning people left and filed orderly through the doors. It was very interesting. Most movies with a younger audience (that was not a huge blockbuster film) would not see this same decorum.


I ended up sitting next to this elderly couple who said pretty much every thought that came to mind while watching the movie. Examples:

*Pile of shoes appear on the screen. Elderly lady: "Oh, shoes..."
*Picture is placed on a wall. Elderly lady: "Is that (main character) in the picture?"
*Building appears on screen. Elderly man: "What is that?" Elderly woman: "Oh, that's the church. I wonder if it's the same one from earlier."
*Random scene. Elderly woman: "Burps...mmm." (She did this at least twice. I was beyond horrified).
*Other scene. Elderly woman: "Is she going to climb that? Oh, no..."

I have never wanted to murk an elderly person or persons like I wanted to murk this couple. I wanted to load them onto a catapult and launch them into a screening of Notorious.

4. I planned my monthly vegan menu and just cooked a very satisfying dinner tonight. Linguine with sauteed green and red peppers, tomatoes, and broccoli; and sauteed lemon-herb tofu. Yummers!

Compliments

Sidebar: Wtf is going on in this picture? Is this a ladybug? If so, why is it depicted as a fat, bald old man? Why is he wearing sunglasses? Why does he have arms? Wtf are the bottom two arms doing? And what does he have to do with compliments and feeling good? I need answers.

Anyhoo, compliments in our society have gotten tangled up in the web of etiquette. We are expected to have self-esteem and confidence, but often when we actually exhibit it, it is mistaken for arrogance and/or not being humble. It is possible to exude confidence without being stank, stuck-up, or snotty. Too many of us turn down or deflect compliments when given.

You look nice=oh, I'm fat/bad hair/pimply/a mess

You did a good job on that project=oh it was nothing/I could have done better

You are so funny=I'm weird/a lunatic/a spaz/a tard

...and so on.

Our society has taught us that it's polite to say these things so as to appear grounded. But many human behavior experts/therapists, etc. will tell you that rejecting a compliment makes the complimentor feel you are telling them what they are saying does not matter or they don't know what they're talking about, which is rather offensive and insulting when you get down to it. It also doesn't allow you, the complimentee to absorb the compliment and subsequent good feelings that go along with it.

I think a lot of people deflect compliments because they don't know how to handle them, or don't want to feel pressured into responding with a compliment. I have historically had a problem with this. I get embarrassed really easily, have hated being put on the spot (especially in a group) and I blush easily. Once I recognized this about myself, and realized how I was making myself feel (not worthy as a human), I began to just say thank you, I really appreciate it, that was a really nice thing to say, or something similar. There are not many things more attractive to me in a person than one who is confident and sure, one who values the different opinions of the world, but doesn't let nit-picking or regret slow down their lives. I think it's particularly nice when strangers go out of their way to say something nice to someone. I have personally experienced and witnessed someone noticeably brighten up after a kind word was said. The little things make each day worth living and before you know it, you have a life worth living.

It seems fitting to end this post by encouraging you to compliment someone today but that is not the point of this post. Only compliment someone if you really mean it. Accept compliments that you receive and feel good that someone thought something about you was special enough for them to recognize it.