Been super busy. Work. School. Thesis. Papers. Doctoral program apps. Cooking. Twirling. And stuff. Be back next week. Have a funeral and a wedding to attend tomorrow, both in two different cities than the one I am currently in (Marlin, Halletsville, Houston, respectively). Have a magical weekend. Oh, and here are 7 reasons to keep your T-rex off crack cocaine. If you don't help him/her, who will?
P.S. Here's a list of things bears love. kBAI.
Ok so I know I gave thanks and stuff a couple of posts ago but I want to recant at this time, my friendship with Karrie B. Bloggies, do not befriend people such as her and let them into your life, e-mail, and phone. Otherwise you subject your inbox to stuff such as this:
The subject title of this picture was: Gem Nomming.
I'm upset at so many things, as discussed with Karrie and QQ. Why does it look like a pony-sized bite was actually taken out of the tomato? Why is she gazing at the tomato so lovingly and smirking about how her lunch has more swagger than yours? The way her pink and white locks are in a breezy fresh roller-set style...
Let this be a warning to those who open your hearts to bloggers. Love is a losing game.
Check out these tasty morsels (always and forever ruined by QQ) I made *snobby voice* from scratch this weekend:
Strawberry-banana muffins
As you all know, I am mixed with unicorn. This is a source of pride for me, so it hurts to tell y'all I cried so many rainbow unicorn tears after witnessing the following unicorn tattoo tragedies. Join me, won't you?
My husband is going to side-eye me so hard for this, but I DON'T CARE! I know I am not the only one who was jamming Immature as a pre-teenybopper...sheeit I know there were grown ass women jamming to them, DON'T HATE! Of course looking back now at Batman, Romeo, and LDB (lol, there was never any love for LDB)...and their hair...and that high, soft voice...and those clothes...I just can't. Journey back with me, won't you?
Never Lie
This was their debut single. Jesus H. Christ, where do I begin? The ocean, the hair sleekly pulled back into buns, the eye-patch, the silver jewelry, the hoop earrings, the Different World sunglasses, and where the hell are their parents? Does this just happen in everyday life where 12 year old boys congregate at the beach to share some raw emotion over a girl? Get you some of that zest at the 1:15 mark...so dead at the serious looks they are giving...Of course we can't forget the cuntiest part of the song toward the 3:40 mark: "Lie-ee-i-ee-i, lie-ee-i-ee-i...excuse me while I go resuscitate my soul.
Feel The Funk
Sofa king destroyed at Batman's "Rihanna" bob and Romeo's "trip to Cancun" micro-braids. Oh, 90s. So much was allowed back then. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I didn't use to groove to this though.
Please Don't Go
Um, this video was kind of heavy for pre-teens...my little sensitive 11-year old ass used to cry when I watched it...this has to be a top contender for the Raw Emotion of the 90s award. I read a long time ago that the song was written for Marques Houston's mother who died of cancer. I imagine that was a bit awkward to translate this into a love story for the video. There were bedside chats (again, who's parents allowed this shit?), graphic pre-teen makeout sessions, realization of death (she keeps holding her stomach but the viewers never know why she died...ultimate crazy gas?), tearing shirts off to reveal teenage pecs in the rain, cemetaries and tombstones, dressed in all black...I think this video actually traumatized me, like watching Bambi's mother get gunned down in the Disney movie.
We Got It
Aw, what happened to the innocent, fun songs? Can't come out with anything like this now and expect to sell...one thing about Immature is they never tried to sex things up (except when they later became IMX, but I refuse to acknowledge that tragedy any further).
In case you didn't know, I looooooove the Morocco aesthetic. I fantasize of turning my home into some sort of Moroccan lounge. In the book I have below, I saw the following picture:
Go to the 20 second mark and just wait. The background lyric I hear is: "Got a New Jack SWING comin' up!" My husband hears: "So you can New Jack SWING on my nuts!"
Please somebody help me. I...I just cannot accept his version of the lyrics. I quit life at least twice already because of this. What do you hear?
*****EDITED*****So apparently my husband is right. The line is from an Ice Cube song...link in the comments if you want to check it out. Thanks to Cheron and everyone else who corrected me. I will never live this down at home, ya'll have ruined my life!! The More You Knooooooow! *NBC rainbow music*
Other mis-heard song lyrics: TLC-Waterfalls. The chorus goes "Don't go chasin' waterfalls..." WHY did my mom think they sang: "Go, go, Jason's waterfalls..." Her: "Who is Jason?" Me: "...What?" Her: "JASON....GO, GO, JASON'S WATERFALLS?!" Me: *flatline*
Crucial Conflict-Hay. Chorus: "Smokin' on hay...HAAAAAAAY..." and so on. My friend's dad: "Circle of pain...PAAAAAAAAIN..."
What song lyrics have you mis-heard or has someone else mis-heard? Holla in the comments!
Jesus Christ on a cracker. Back to your regularly scheduled blogging program.
*So I up and caught the flu for no reason. Or at least, "flu-like symptoms". How the hell do you know if you have the flu or flu-like symptoms? I am at the end now (I hope) and I thank you all for your well-wishes, especially ChocolateOrchid for checking on me periodically!
*I am the Natural Belle of the week over on Hairspiration, check me out! Thank you again for featuring me (it says natural for 4 years, but it's been 3 years and some change)!
*I watched The Wrestler, Bubba Ho-tep, and Pineapple Express over the weekend.
The Wrestler: Good movie, wonderful acting.
Bubba Ho-tep: If this isn't one of the brokest movies of all time, I don't know what is. That's what the appeal is though. I met my demise toward the end of the film where the villain/mummy starts cursing in hieroglyphics.
Pineapple Express: This movie was a tad over-hyped (and so unnecessarily violent, lol) but it did have its funny moments. "FUCK THE PO-LICE (in slow-motion)!"
*I have recently been in awe of all the big-ass pickup trucks I see driving around Houston. I mean like unnecessarily, Canyonero big. I am in awe because:
1. I wonder why I'm just now noticing all these big-ass trucks because
2. This MUST be a Texas thing right? MrsMaryMack, Tanijoy, Desiree, TheHoustonGirl, any other Texas lurkers help me out. Are ya'll seeing these too?
3. It makes me realize that not only does one country have a unique culture, but regions cannot be under-estimated for their own culture. Like seriously, you wouldn't see this in New York, California, Oregon, etc.
4. THAT makes me then wonder how much we underestimate other regional cultures of other countries. Vesper, does Canada differ noticeably in culture depending on region? What about England? I know Italy and South Africa do. What about Australia? Anywhere else?
That's all my congested ass can---wait that sounds gross. That's all my congested self can think up right now. Blogging shall resume! Have a magical day!
I'm feeling what I call "pre-sick" today. I have a cough, and feel a bit run-down. Hopefully my immune system will fight it off by tomorrow. Since I feel like ass, regular blog-posting will resume tomorrow (immune-system willing). In the meantime, let this get you through your day.
Here are the last of my leftover pictures to share.
*Bought tickets to see Erykah Badu in concert in March. So. Excited.
*I studied with a few classmates who all smoke (3 on Saturday, 2 on Sunday). This morning I noticed small red blemishes on my face. My precious face. They've tarnished it with their cancer sticks, tarnished it I say!
*I feel good about attempting to live more simply and healthier. Gave up cable and fast food and giving up items that serve no function around the house.
*In search of some fine bed linens. I want the white, hotel look.
*Check the poll in the sidebar. Out of 10 votes, only 2 consider Sunday as the start of a new week. Interesting.
*Upcoming book review blog post soon (maybe Wednesday if I have the chance).
*While looking at different funeral home websites for a research project, I stumbled upon this gem. He is apparently a DJ in addition to his funeral home duties. "We can funeralize your loved one at a price from..." and "This ain't no ranky-dank funeral home. This is a first class funeral home run by first class people" are sending me to an early grave myself. Please look at his website. For me. I am not responsible if you fade to black after you view it.
*You should totally read the book, Fast Food Nation.
Anyhoo, please watch this. With your speakers on when you can. Give up fast food (or try to phase it out if you are not in a position to cook all the time). There are cheap, healthy, easy recipes out there. Try them. If you need help, ask me. This is amazing. What the hell are we putting in our bodies, in our children's bodies? Happy Meals my ass.
1. On my way to meet a friend for lunch, I saw (while driving) what appeared to be a small dog on a sidewalk. Since I love dogs, I tried to catch a closer look at it while I passed by. Upon closer inspection, it was a bird. A freakin bird. Like, a bird of prey. Like, a falcon, hawk, condor, phoenix, pterodactyl type bird. It was standing on the sidewalk (I think it was trying to eat something) looking at traffic. This was on a busy street surrounded by expensive condos. Freaked me right the hell out.
2. In the checkout line at Target, the woman behind me had a giraffe tattoo on her chest. Imagine someone drawing a giraffe on a sheet of paper. Think of how long the neck is. She had on a v-neck shirt, and the giraffe's head was high on her chest, and the long neck extended down under her shirt. That thing was drawn to scale like a muhfugga. It was actually kind of awesome. Definitely the most random tattoo I have ever seen.
3. I went to see The Reader last night. My husband and I are often the token black people in the movies we go see, this movie was no exception. The Reader was in a small theater. The audience was mostly 40 years and older white people. Everyone lined up in an orderly fashion (there was no need to) and waited until the cleaning people left and filed orderly through the doors. It was very interesting. Most movies with a younger audience (that was not a huge blockbuster film) would not see this same decorum.
I ended up sitting next to this elderly couple who said pretty much every thought that came to mind while watching the movie. Examples:
*Pile of shoes appear on the screen. Elderly lady: "Oh, shoes..."
*Picture is placed on a wall. Elderly lady: "Is that (main character) in the picture?"
*Building appears on screen. Elderly man: "What is that?" Elderly woman: "Oh, that's the church. I wonder if it's the same one from earlier."
*Random scene. Elderly woman: "Burps...mmm." (She did this at least twice. I was beyond horrified).
*Other scene. Elderly woman: "Is she going to climb that? Oh, no..."
I have never wanted to murk an elderly person or persons like I wanted to murk this couple. I wanted to load them onto a catapult and launch them into a screening of Notorious.
4. I planned my monthly vegan menu and just cooked a very satisfying dinner tonight. Linguine with sauteed green and red peppers, tomatoes, and broccoli; and sauteed lemon-herb tofu. Yummers!
I hope everyone has a wonderful (hopefully holiday) MLK weekend, prepare to watch Inauguration events, eat well and (attempt to) eat healthy. I don't know about ya'll, but my vegetables are chaste, modest, and moral. Marlo from The Red Pill Pixel has pre-emptively destroyed any hope I had for this weekend with the following picture from a restaurant he had eaten in:
The only other thing I need answered is, are the vegetables themselves hoes? Does a ho bring your vegetable plate to you? Either way, you can plan on having ho fun for only $7.95. Visit Marlo for wonderful photography and his perspective on life.
Who is responsible for this broke-ass video? Fair warning, don't come complaining to me that you want 4 minutes of your life back after this. This is in keeping with my wish that unicorns rain upon your day, as featured in my About Me section. Dedicated to Lex.
Chaaarlie. Chaaaaaaaaaaarrrrlie. Ok I'm done.
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