Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Finding My Voice and Stuff

I had one of those self-realization/epiphany moments the other day that came to light simply from my husband telling me he liked my natural speaking voice.

My natural speaking voice is pretty deep. Sort of like Alicia Keys deep, but not quite that homeboyish (anyone remember how she used to talk around her 1st album? I doooooooo!). But hearing that made me realize that I rarely use my natural speaking voice unless I'm at work, or bitching someone out. I realized that most of the time I speak in a higher, lighter voice. Why? Why have I been doing that for so long?

I have always been extremely shy (in the past) to somewhat reserved (now) unless I know you pretty well. I suffered from low self-esteem for various reasons, like many other girls and young women. Most of my friends (and even some of my bloggies--blogging homies) view me as a hippie unicorn sunshine creature--which I am, most of the time. I wonder if over the years I unconsciously changed my voice tone to "fit" that image of me. Or to seem non-threatening in general, maybe? My voice sounds pretty authoritative when I get to talkin' bout thangs. In one of those party games where people have to write stuff about you, last week, a friend wrote that I was a Southern Belle. When I think back to the voice I have been using, my southern accent also sounds a LOT stronger in the voice I "use" than when I use my natural speaking voice. KB said I sound like Sandy the Squirrel from Spongebob Squarepants. I have not heard the voice of this character, so KB's ass-beating status is currently pending. (As long as I don't sound like Beyonce, LAWD)

Anyhoo, so now I've been trying to consciously use my natural speaking voice and in the process have become aware of the different situations I use the "pixie-friendly" voice in. It's not COMPLETELY unnatural, as when I'm tired or other random times my voice is softer but there is a definite switch. But I have fallen in love with my natural speaking voice after all these years. It's unique, awesome, zexy, powerful, direct. Pixies can have deep voices! No more trying to fit an image. It's amazing how we can be so UNAWARE of the things we do to hone our presentation of selves. And all it took was this one comment (shout out to my boo, HEEEYYY!). I am seriously stunned over here.

Have any of you had something similar happen to you? Where you tried to hide or play down a physical or personality trait of yours (consciously or unconsciously) that you felt somehow wouldn't "fit"? Share!

In other news, my jaw has been hurting like whoa. I know my teeth are out of alignment but I'm in denial over braces. Invisilign, maybe. Anyone been told you need braces in adulthood? I also want, NEED Lasik. Soon, my pretties, soon. Anyone had Lasik??

12 jewels of thought:

thelady said...

I'm 28 and I've had braces for about a year. My smile isn't that bad but I had some baby teeth still and when I had them pulled the empty spaces caused some shifting.

I considered Lasik but my corneas are too thin.

Kingsmomma said...

Yeah Sandy the squirrel is a bit worse than beyonce but it's funny b/c its a cartoon.

I want invisilign. No one told me i need braces but said that my teeth kind of make it sem like my tongue's in jail. My mom passed done the two front turning teeth to me so yeah I'm ready for some structure there.

I've never heard of anyone use a different speaking voice, i know some people's inflection changes when in professional environments but that's all.

karrie b. said...

awwww pooks!

you know i was only makin play play with you. i didnt mean it like that. and when i said goofy i meant extremely funny. you don't come across as a person who'd be self-conscious in front of the opposite sex. you know how girls try to eat cute and say cute things? you just seem like the type to be your cunty self & not give a damn what no one's talkin bout.

i have diff voices to. i have my white girl/professional voice, i have my trill/brooklyn voice (QQ heard me talkin greasy to bitches on the phone while playin spades @ a cookout) and i have i guess, my "regular" voice. ppl tell my i sound bougie or whatev but fuck it. if bougie means i talk like i have sense & dont butcher the english language so be it.

i heart you voice twin. i really do. dont beat me.

your word verification had me type in "outsh".


let me leave.

InnyVinny said...

I do it all the time, apparently. I have friends that comlain about my using the "baby voice."

My natural voice is pretty bassy, too and people already think I'm mean, so I go up a pitch in certain situations. Like when I'm at work. LOL.

The Jaded NYer said...

We all have different voices- it's just code switching to fit the situation. Like, I have my White voice for work *giggle* and my Rosie Perez-like Brooklyn Spanglish everywhere else. It's all good.

Gem said...

KB: Gull, I know you were kidding with me. Nawl, I'm not self-conscious around the opposite sex like that and I AM my cunty self, it's just I'm my cunty self WITH the pixie-friendly voice instead of my natural, deeper tone voice. I would've fainted if I could have heard you talkin' shit in Spades. Just so you know, when I've had it with you; I'ma tell you OUTSH and point.

InnyVinny: I think that's my issue too; like I don't wanna seem too mean or something with my B-B-BASS! voice.

Jaded: Please tell me you also dance like her in Do the Right Thing for no reason. But see, my issue is that even around friends and family, I still don't use my "deep" voice. Like, I've been suppressing that voice from everyone for some reason : - /


The Jaded NYer said...

I'm fighting the power as I type this...

Little Miss Knobody said...

"Braces make smiling faces..." or says the mug I got when I first got mine put on in 11th grade...smh! I think it's never too late or you never get too old to get them if that's what you really want. Invisilign is great and you don't have to wear them as long.

Vesper de Vil said...

i love deeper woman voices! like cate blanchett! i think she has the sexiest voice ever. my voice is naturally higher, and i used to do the opposite...make it sound deeper so that people would perceive me as older. i look young and sound young, and THAT has always pissed me off...though i'm becoming more okay with it. slowly!

whatever your voice may be, USE IT! :)

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...


...I'm southern, but I don't have a southern accent. For some reason, it only comes out when I'm mad. When speaking to me, people assume I'm from California or anywhere else besides the south (I get that "really" expression when I tell them I'm from Georgia). I went to high school in Chattanooga, TN, and to fit in, I used to speak with a southern accent because EVERYONE had it. My senior year, I said "fuck it," and I started talking how I normally do...then everyone thought I was stuck up (can't please everyone).

Qucifer said...

That's my sissy English Voice in English, is a confidence thing for me, I speak completely different in Spanish, in reality I HATE being on the phone and that type of shit, cause I always get asked about my accent

Alice said...

I think its a southern thing. My husbands family is from SC and I swear all the women in his family have this fake, southern bell, high-pitched voice that they put on when talking on the phone, ordering food in a restaurant, handling business, etc... Then when we get back home all hell breaks loose and their real voices come out. Its crazy b/c I understand what they are saying much better when using the fake voices. lol. Those mugs got some THICK accents.

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